Life is but a Moment: Lang may yer lum reek!

Life is but a Moment: Lang may yer lum reek!: And just in case you're wondering . . . that means "Long may the smoke go up your chimney!"  And that's a good thing ~ it really is. : ) 'Ti...

Southern Ten Commandments

SOUTHERN TEN COMMANDMENTS.....
WHICH is much easier to remember: (1) Just 1 God. (2) Put nothin' before God. (3) Watch yer mouth. (4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'. (5) Honor yer Ma & Pa. (6) No killin'. (7) No foolin' around with another feller's gal (or 'nother gal's feller) (8) Don't take what ain't yorn. (9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'. (10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff. Now that's plain an' simple. An' bless your little cotton pickin' heart ♥

I believe in Jesus

‎------[]------ put this
--[][][][][]-- on your
------[]------ page,wall, & group if
------[]------ you are jesus's friend
------[]------ and not ashamed
------[]------ to admit it
I BELIEVE IN JESUS

Jesus Christ

‎------[]------ put this
--[][][][][]-- on your
------[]------ page,wall, & group if
------[]------ you are jesus's friend
------[]------ and not ashamed
------[]------ to admit it
I BELIEVE IN JESUS

Single Ladies - Wait for your Boaz

To all single ladies in a hurry to get married, here's a quick piece of Biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Drunkaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz & especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz!

Single Ladies Looking for Husband

For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to get married, here's a quick piece of Biblical advice:
Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz,don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz.
Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz.

Pinocchio

How do we expect KIDS TO LISTEN to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight,
Pinocchio lies all the time,
Aladdin is the king of thieves,
Batman drives at 200 mph,
Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys.
We shouldbn't be surprised when kids misbehave, they learn it from their story books.

Lot flee out of City

JAMES (age 4)was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

Butt Dust

This particular Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

Going Places

I have been to a lot of places but I have never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go there alone; you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. It's not hard to get there. I've made several trips and I'm planning another one in the near future.

Man Down in Ailse 5

On the PA system: 'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.'
Rick and Julie are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
Rick picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks Julie
They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies.
...'Put them back, we can't afford them demands Julie, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along Julie picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks Rick.
It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies Julie.
Rick retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'

THEN DOWN HE WENT!!!!!

Freshness in Grocery Store

A while ago a new supermarket opened in Tyler, TX. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mowed hay.
In the meat department there is the a...roma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.........

I don't buy my TOILET PAPER there any more!!!!

Pity Train

Breaking news: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck it up and Move on, and crashed into We all have problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get the Hell over it! Any compaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-waaa. This is Dr. Sniffle reporting live from Quitchur Bitchin'. If you like this, repost it. If you don't, suck it up cupcake! Life does not revolve around you!!

Computer Newbie

Customer: My keyboard is not working any more.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged
into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten
...steps backwards.
Customer: Ok.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged
in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a
moment please. . . . . . . Ah, that one does work.
Thanks.See More

Greg's Coffee

OMG...I sent Greg a text this morning that I wished I had a cup of coffee this morning...( he;s in Brandwine)... Do you know what he did!!!!!! He sent me a Great picture of HIM drinking coffee out on the porch... How is that for being a good son....? I'm left with drinking Ice water!!!!! LOL

Internet geru

Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the
correct password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

Braile letter on ATM?

Did you know that braille letters are moulded into the Drive-up ATM? LOL

Can't Sleep!!!!!!

Here's a message to those who can't sleep.....

Medical Alert!!!!!

MEDICAL ALERT!!!!
Calories are the little BUGGERS that get into your wardrobe at
night and sew your clothes tighter.
MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE BUGGERS.
trong>

710 oil Cap

The other day I was in the local auto parts store. A lady comes in and asks for a 710 cap. We all looked at each other and said, "What's a 710 cap?" She said, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost some how and I need a new one." What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun 710, but no, sh...e said it's a Pontiac."OK lady, how big is it?"She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. ”What does it do?," we asked.She said, "I don't know, but it's always been there."We gave her a note pad and asked if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as she writes it...and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard in hysterics.(To Find Out Why He Was In Hysterics... draw a circle, write 710 in the middle of it, and turn it around.)Yes, she was a blonde.See More

Balanced Breakfast....

Having a balanced breakfast this morning....A cup of COFFEE in each hand........

Words of Encouragements

Words of Encouragement: .....Make that phone call. Have that conversation. Send that letter. Tell that person you love them more than anything. Tomorrow is a gift, not a promise.